i've learnt recently that sometimes the things we do, say or write must come from our hearts. it must be something genuine for us to really remember and this something must be true in what we really feel. it musn't be done just to purely impress people, nor must it be purges which we don't feel anything at all. it must feel real to you, yourself, but most importantly, you must feel connected to it. i realized if i written a whole lot crap just to impress someone even though i don't really want to, that work will be something i would throw into a rubbish soon after.

i was too caught once in awhile trying to strive to show how i good i am at something that it became a plain chore just do it right. and this little thing is actaully personal to me and there i was trying to impress god knows who just to show how good i am. it's nonsense really, but after the high died out, and i slowed down a little, i found the steady pace which i found i'm comfortable at and begin to work from there.

sometimes i feel like a fool trying to impress those i know wouldn't need to be impressed by. it's not about perfect grammar or english, but the thinking process of one. it's pressure i suppose once in awhile, but i know i should think i have it and do my best at it.

now i know why authors are able to write so impressively. it's cause they're able to express thier feelings and hide behind thier every words they write. thier expressions, thier feelings are all written down on paper and pen, to be shown to the world without letting anybody knowing truly how they really feel.

i guess that's where the best of the authors and poets came from. somehow they have this gift to express thier feelings uniquely in words. it's nice to have an escape route to express yourself with isn't it?